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Question   v2.4 April 2000
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v2.4 April 2000
Table of Contents
0. Introduction.
1. DHSOTM Round-up.
2. Suggestion Round-up.
3. Rewards+Reseller+Referral = DreamHost Rewards
4. Banner Ads Promotion!
5. First Visor Contest Winner!
6. Beta testers wanted!
7. DreamHost Haikus!
8. Random Quotes(s) From newdream.net

0. Introduction.

Did you know that April is my favorite month? It's just a shame that it is
the second shortest month of the year. Uh, there's a lot to cover this
month, so I think that wraps up the introduction! 

1. DHSOTM Round-up.

This month's super supreme DreamHost Site of the Month winner (for my
favorite month nonetheless) goes to.. the mostly ruthless destruction of
the 1981 dodge omni at http://www.sixfoot6.com/omni/ . Self described as
"Five friends destroy a 1981 Dodge Omni hatchback over the course of two
days in suburban Pymouth, Massachusetts," that is exactly what you get if
you head over to the site. 

Not only did this site get the highest average vote among sites posted
before March, I myself found it entertaining and almost spooky. At
approximately the same time the events documented in that site were taking
place, three friends and I were carrying out nearly the same procedures on
a 1980 Datsun 210! We failed to document our mis- adventures with D'Artley
(his name), but reading theirs rekindled an ancient flame in my soul. A
flame that still burns for my first car, which cost me only $200, but paid
me back many times that.. with compound interest. 

When I left college I couldn't take D'Artley with me, and so auctioned him
off in the dorm lounge. I made it clear to everyone present that it was a
working car, with valid CA plates and emissions that had under 70,000
miles on it. After a fierce war the winning big was $7, which I accepted

2. Suggestion Round-up.

This month we implemented a pretty big suggestion, which probably
accounted for half a dozen or so of the ones in there! The details follow
in the next section... I've also gone through and cleaned out a bunch of
the multiple, erroneous or completed suggestions to make it a bit easier
on the browser. Of course.. whenever we clean it out it fills up pretty
fast with the same suggestions we just took out!  I guess it's sort of
like when you clean that stuff out from between your toes... 

3. Rewards+Reseller+Referral = DreamHost Rewards

A lot of times people have trouble with the current referral system.. 
mostly they don't like the fact that they only get the account credit if
the person they refer signs up for six months or more (in fact, this
month's $50 credit goes to user gla for that suggestion). People have
trouble with our current rewards system too.. mostly that they want to
earn more money from it. People have trouble with our reseller program
too, mostly that it gets too confusing managing all the domains and plans
all under one account. 

Well, we've reworked it all into one comprehensive new DreamHost Rewards
plan, which is taking all three of the old systems into it's fold as one
unified affiliate-like system! Basically, the gist of it is for anyone you
refer to DreamHost, whether it be a friend you tell about it, or anybody
who clicks on a Rewards link at your site, or somebody you've resold an
account to, you will get 10% of EVERYTHING they pay to DreamHost AS LONG
AS THEY ARE A CUSTOMER! Plus, anyone THEY then refer results in you
getting 5% of that person's payments as well (so it's two-tiered). We've
added a bunch of explanations for the specifics at both our main site: 
http://www.dreamhost.com/resellers.html and the web panel: 

Another added bonus of this system besides the simplicity and greater
potential for a steady recurring revenue stream is that in the future we
will be setting up a system where users can actually cash out any positive
balance they get on their statement, and so if they refer enough people
they'll end up actually getting monthly payments form us, not just big
discounts on their hosting bill! Anybody you referred starting April 1st
already counts towards this too, and for now will begin giving you credit
towards your hosting bill. So read up and tell your friends, co-workers,
and doctors! 

Oh yeah, one other thing that'll help you tell your friends is we've
created a simple refer us form under the rewards area of the web panel
which you can use to send a message to anybody summarizing DreamHost and
its offerings. Of course, the link it provides makes sure you get the
referrer credit if they then sign up! 

4. Banner Ads Promotion!

We just wanted to say thank you to everybody who sent in the great banner
ads we received as a result of our promotion last month, and that we've
put them up at http://www.dreamhost.com/rewards/ for people to use for
their Rewards links if they'd like to. Or you can just go over there and
see what people did, some are pretty cute! 

Thanks again to all who participated and your ads will begin showing on
DreamBook tomorrow as mentioned in the email we sent out. If you didn't
get that email but submitted some banners to us, let us know right away at

5. First Visor Contest Winner!

Don't forget our current giveaway running from now until the end of the
year!  We're giving away one Handspring Visor a month (they're palm-pilot
compatible organizers that come in DreamHost blue!) to some lucky guy or
gal, as per the official rules at http://www.dreamhost.com/contest/

We haven't announced to the winner yet who they are, and we do know it is
somebody who is receiving this newsletter. So therefore, keep reading to
see if it is YOU who won this month's Visor (a $269 value)! 

And the winner is... Cole Anderson! Way to go, Cole! We'll be emailing you
soon to verify your shipping info and make sure everything is nice and

Keep on referring people and keep on adding services and keep on sending
index cards to up your chances in our great Visor giveaway! 

I just realized that this is going to be a regular section of the
newsletter for the next 8 months, so I've rewritten it in a way to make it
easy to cut and paste for next time without much modification! Heck, maybe
instead of spending all this time writing the newsletter each month I
should spend it writing a script that generates newsletters... 

6. Beta testers wanted!

For what you might ask? What do you think we need beta testers for, our
new office water cooler? It's for DreamHost 2000 of course! It's getting
close, for real, and we'll begin a limited-release beta test for it in 2
weeks (April 26th). To do that, we'll be needing some limited-relase beta
testers! In fact, we're looking for fifty for now.

What sort of qualifications do you need to be a DreamHost 2000 beta
tester? All you've got to be is a current DreamHost customer who is
interested in the new system and wants to provide feedback on usability,
enhancements, and problems!  You've also got to be willing to accept $100
in DreamHost Bucks for your effort!  DreamHost bucks are credit towards
DreamHost 2000 services, and can be used for setting up new plans and
registering domains. (Basically it's a $100 account credit on the new

Spots are limited and so we'll be accepting the first fifty customers who
send email to beta@dreamhost.com indicating their interest. Once
everything's finished and DreamHost 2000 is released all the beta testers
will also receive something special and limited-edition and commemerative
from DreamHost. Maybe toejam... 

7. DreamHost Haikus!

As I'm sure anyone who's been to elementary school in America knows, a
haiku is a japanese poem. It is 3 lines long and the first line must have
five sylables, the second seven and the last five. Generally the poems
have to do with nature and the seasons and such, but that's not so
important to us here. What is most important here is that haikus don't
have to rhyme. 

So here are some haikus I wrote.. one each for our main DreamHost


believe it or not
resubmitting thirty times
does not impress us


why when you aren't billed
you are quiet; then when you're
double billed, you scream.


you want NT 5?
on a mac? with 6 gigs ram?
sure, we can do that!


dreamhost version 2
coming very very soon.
by the next blue moon.

system administration

hostmon says it's down
my watch says it's 5 am.
hostmon could be wrong.


why win a new visor?
why banners? why rewards? why?
to get customers.


the most beautiful
 webhost in the industry.
unless you hate blue.

8. Random Quotes(s) From newdream.net

There's something different about us -- different from people of Europe,
Africa, Asia ... a deep and abiding belief in the Easter Bunny. -- G.
Gordon Liddy

I THINK THERE SHOULD BE SOMETHING in science called the "reindeer effect."
I don't know what it would be, but I think it'd be good to hear someone
say, "Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer
effect." -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. 


Last updated: Jan 27, 2001.