Table of Contents
1. DHSOTM Winner
2. Suggestion Roundup
3. Fourth Visor Winner
5. Conclusion and Random Quotes
I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read my first newsletter
attempt. Josh is taking a bit of a newsletter-hiatus due to vacation-ary
reasons. I know you all will miss Josh's style, but I am sure that he will
be doing some Special Occasion newsletters. He will be like a thief in the
night, silently he will creep in and without making enough sound to wake
you, he will slip in his two cents. You will wake to find he has been and
gone without you knowing it. The only evidence that he was ever there will
be his newsletter, as only he can write it. So, no need to fear, he is
still here!! I'm sure he has plenty to say. Maybe you can look forward to
us dueling with our words in future newsletters.
Ahhh, now I have the power!!! I now have the ability to skew the news
for my own sinister purposes! Uh-oh what if nobody wants to read it?
What if I can't come through with stories that rival that of the
glorious Zappy Motor? Whoa! Who knew that power could be so stressful?
I guess that is why my first effort at writing for the newsletter is a
bit tardy. My name is Anita Rodriguez, and I am relatively new to this
company. I work in the Billing Team, so this is a great opportunity for
me to do something creative. So, I hope you all enjoy the newsletter.
My style is a bit different than Josh's, but I am hoping to convey the
important points as well as he has. I've been studying the previous
newsletters as if they were the winning lottery numbers. That is when I
make the fateful realization. The May 2000 newsletter is very clear on
the Dreamhost newsletter policy. It states, "we have strict standards
over here about when the newsletter goes out! For example, it must still
be the month listed in the subject. And on that standard we are
unwavering." Doh! I wonder what kind of unspeakable torture they will
inflict upon me as punishment.
It is probably not the best idea to break the rules on your first
attempt at a relatively new job. Or is it? What if Obi Wan hadn't let
Darth Vader strike him down? Well, of course the universe would have
been squashed like a bug under the tyrannical boot heel of the evil
empire. But I digress - the point is that sometimes you have to break
the rules of nature. Sometimes you must break free of the bondage of
time and expectations to create a new, free world where if you are
lucky, your new neighbors, the Ewoks, might throw a killer B.B.Q. Ummm,
is anyone buying this? Well, please excuse the lateness of this
newsletter. I'll do my best to make it worth your while.
1. DHSOTM Winner
And now (poignant pause) the moment you've all been waiting for - the
DreamHost Site Of the Month winner is Antonio Serna, for the site
muserna.org. Everyone check out muserna.org so you can swipe Antonio's
ideas - uh, whoops, I mean so that you can be in the perfect creative
mood to wreak havoc upon the other contestants next month. Once again,
great job Antonio!! The web site is nothing short of amazing (if you
ask me), I'm almost afraid there was a subliminal message in there that
made me love it! Take a look and see what you all think.
You can go to the web administration panel to enter your own masterpiece
so that all of your fellow web neighbors can turn green with envy when
you run away with next month's prize. Although, this motivation may be
considered to be on the dark side of the Force.
2. Suggestion Roundup
We have a lot of suggestions, and they all have merit to someone. So,
in an effort to operate at a maximum efficiency level while still making
our customers' concerns top priority, our fearless leader, Josh, has
made a suggestion of his own. Josh has compiled a list of all the
suggestions and what our plans are about implementation, etc. Hmmm, I
wonder if that means he gets the $50.00 account credit? Naw, that
wouldn't be fair would it? (Well, so long, it's been nice knowing ya.
If I wasn't fired for a late newsletter I'm well on my way now. *Note
To Self: just go along with the honchos if you want to remain employed)
Even if you didn't submit a suggestion this is a basic overview and
should be pretty informative. You can take a look at all his (and of
course, without you we would have only our own suggestions) hard work
Please know that we are working on implementing as many suggestions as
possible. Here at DreamHost you would be hard pressed to find anyone
whose fingers are not worn down to nubs (I hope finger replacement is
covered in our health benefits). We are typing away at a feverish
pace. Sometimes I'm typing so fast I think that the keyboard is going
to make the jump to hyperspace (I swear my fingers are trying to get to
light speed. Question: Does the health plan cover temporary
insanity?). Get to the point already you say... SURE THING. We are doing
our best with our resources and we strive constantly for improvement of
our services. Your patience is appreciated more than you could imagine
(hmmm, judging from the web sites I've seen, you DreamHostees are pretty
creative so try to visualize our gratitude).
Due to the massive amount of suggestions submitted, we are now planning
on updating the to do list mentioned above, so that you all can take a
look and in a moment's glance see if your suggestion has already been
made. You will also be able to see what we think of the suggestions.
It should make the whole process a bit easier to comprehend. We will
also be implementing more of the suggestions, so we are going to make
the prize $25.00 to be awarded as the suggestion is implemented. That
means that we will be able to give out more than one prize per month.
Yes, more prizes, more frequently! Hopefully this system for the
suggestions will be more efficient and concise.
3. Visor Winner
Here is where the perks of writing the newsletter come in. And the
winner is our very own; Anita (he he he - oohhh the power!) What? I'm
ineligible? It's a random drawing? Do I know where the unemployment
office is? Why would I have to go... Whoops it looks like the 4th visor
winner is: Bruce Sexauer. I will be contacting you to make sure we
have the correct address to send your Handspring Visor (a palm-pilot
compatible organizer in DreamHost blue). It would be a tragedy if for
some (unknown) reason your visor went to the wrong address (oh lets say
You can take a look at the official rules at:
http://www.dreamhost.com/contest/. Keep on referring people and keep on
adding services and keep on sending index cards to up your chances in
our great visor giveaway!
You may want to visit Bruce's sites, he makes some very nice looking
string instruments. I'm no Stevie Ray Vaughn, so don't just take my word
for it, see for yourself at:
I have taken it upon myself to dedicate the newsletter (hopefully on a
monthly basis, and it won't always be to dead people either). This
month the Jedi out there may have felt a great disturbance in the
force. Sir Alec Guiness made the transition to a better place. Mr.
Guiness is more commonly (and generally, lovingly) known as Obi Wan
Kenobi. He has been in a number of great movies. I grew up with the
Star Wars Trilogy. I have seen all the movies more times than I've
brushed my teeth in this lifetime (oh, hush up, I have good oral
hygiene). My brother is a Star Wars fanatic (or freak if you prefer)
that made me one too. The Star Wars phenomenon was a single man's
dream, but it took an army to bring the story to its fruition. Mr.
Guiness was one of the most beloved foot soldiers. He is my hero. The
Force will be with me, always (due in part to Sir Alec Guiness). I
believe that his life has contributed to mine. I'd like to thank him
and wish him a great adventure and much peace. I'm not sure what comes
after this existence (if anything - I'm trying not to offend anyone here
no matter what their beliefs may be) but I wish Mr. Guiness all the
best. I know he has been a great inspiration over my lifetime. Maybe
freak Obi Wan sightings will occur and be covered in all the tabloid
Fare thee Well Obi Wan
5. Conclusion and Random Quotes from the New Dreamers
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I hope it was worth
your while. If not please send your comments to:
firstname.lastname@example.org. I wish you all luck in whatever
endeavors that you might undertake. Take care, and thank you for your
contributions to our web community. The August newsletter should be out
in about a week or so (that is if I still have a job - wish me luck).
"What, you don't like the breadsticks??"
-- Charis, as I am freaking out about making a
mistake with someone's account. (She's a comical
sort of gal isn't she?)
No one so thoroughly appreciates the value of constructive criticism
as the one who's giving it.
-- Hal Chadwick
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the
right to use the editorial "we".
-- Mark Twain
My life is a soap opera, but who has the rights?
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin
Last updated: Jan 27, 2001.