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Question   v2.12 December 2000
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v2.12 December 2000
Table of Contents
0. Introduction.
1. Stats panel.
2. DHSOTM Round-up.
3. Ninth Visor Contest Winner.
4. DreamHost 2 move progress.
5. Random Quotes From newdream.net.
---------------------------------------------------------------


0.      Introduction.

Howdy do and welcome to the fabulous DreamHost newsletter! I would
call it dreamy, but everyone knows it's bad writing to use the same 
word twice in a sentence. Yeah it is, it gets boring really fast. 
Not words like "it" though, "it" is usually okay. But with adjectives 
it's bad bad bad. "Bad" is fine too, when used like that. Anyway, let 
me show you:

"Running silently through the forest she silently approached the silent
silencer."

If that's not a third grade sentence I don't know what is. Maybe this:

"Thenc yoo for letttinj us visit the fire truk. I Liekd The Dog."

Now you know why we don't have a third grader do the newsletter. Not
to mention why we have a strict policy of only hiring sixth graders and
above for technical support. (JUST KIDDING GUYS! HA HA AHHhhh)

I just realized I'd better stop analyzing anybody's writing ability. I'm
just opening myself up for criticism, which I absolutely can't stand. 
I can almost see the thought bubbles now above your head as you read this:

"Oh, aren't WE mister perfect-writer-man! I'm going to send in a tech
support message pointing out every last split-infinitive and run-on in
the introduction alone!"

Well I'll have you know it won't do any good! Nobody in tech support
knows what a split-infinitive is, and neither do you! Neither do I! What
is it? I'll ask my girlfriend... She doesn't know either. A lot of good
that did.

And now to rap up the introduction:

My name is boppo and I am cool.
In my bathroom I got a swimming pool.
When I get dirty, I go and take a scrub,
my cool swimming pool turns into a tub.
When I get out, you know what I'll be?
All nice and clean and squeaky,
I put on my new cologne, it's called "Something Freaky".
I go downtown to try my rap,
but ooo baby, I got my face slapped.
I got on the floor to do a breakdance,
I got on my knee and burn a hole in my pants!
When I got up and I look down, 
a piece of my pants is still burning around!
But that's still cool, 'cause I'm no fool;
I just run home and jump in my swimming pool!

1. Stats panel.

To better track all the lovely, lovely people whom visit your site, we
have improved the site usage statistics customization available through
the DH2 web panel.  We still use analog as our stats analysis tool of
choice, but we've now created a web-based tool (under the
Status::Statistics sub-tab) which allows you to customize your daily
reports or your monthly reports. Remember, you can access your stats at
http://www.domain.com/stats/ (it's a password-protected area).
You can also manage the users allowed to view your stats from this area.

What can you customize? You can choose which reports you want as well as
how many entries you want in each report (that's the "floor") as well as
if you want dns lookups on the ip addresses that access your site.
Something you might want to turn on is the referrer report, which allows
you to see all the urls people are getting to your site from. Very
interesting and ego-gratifying I must say.

2. DHSOTM Round-up.

This month's winner of our still-coveted DreamHost Site of the Month award
is http://www.giantrobot.com/ the site with easy to follow instructions on
creating your own Voltron, Junkar, or Iron Giant.

Well actually, after visiting the site I can't seem to find those
instructions any more. It looks like now they've switched to being more of
a "Asian Pop Culture source". The site is nice to look at, although a bit
difficult to navigate (it's hard to know the difference between a
"transmissions" area and a "robotica" section before you visit them).

Anyway, I'm pretty happy these guys won because I remember looking through
their print magazine in Newbury Comics in Harvard Square last summer and
thinking it was pretty cool. And we host their website! Obviously these
folks are even beyond the coolness that their magazine can do justice to!

3. Ninth Visor Contest Winner.

Don't forget our current giveaway running from now until the end of the
year!  We're giving away one Handspring Visor a month (they're palm-pilot
compatible organizers that come in DreamHost blue!) to some lucky guy or
gal, as per the official rules at http://www.dreamhost.com/contest/

We haven't announced to the winner yet who they are, and we do know it is
somebody who is receiving this newsletter. So therefore, keep reading to
see if it is YOU who won this month's Visor (a $269 value)!

And the winner is... Db Mall! Way to go, Db! We'll be emailing you soon to
verify your shipping info and make sure everything is nice and kosher!

Keep on referring people and keep on adding services and keep on sending
index cards to up your chances in our great Visor giveaway!

I just realized that this is going to be a regular section of the
newsletter for the next month, so I've rewritten it in a way to make it
easy to cut and paste for next time without much modification! Heck, maybe
instead of spending all this time writing the newsletter each month I
should spend it writing a script that generates newsletters...

4. DreamHost 2 move progress.

Things are really picking up in the DreamHost 2 move department! We don't
have everybody moved yet (not hardly!) but we're way ahead of where we
were last month! We've got about 450 accounts moved over now (1/20th of
the way there!). But more importantly, we're getting to the point where
there are only a few special features in DreamHost 1 that we can't
automatically move over to 2 yet. Once there aren't any more of those, the
rest of you loyal DreamHost 1 users fall over like Dominoes or South-East
Asia. It's all coming into place.. excellent.

And remember, you can ask to be moved sooner or just check on the status
of the move at https://secure.newdream.net/admin/waitlist.cgi any time,
DAY OR NIGHT.

5. Random Quotes From newdream.net.

Visits always give pleasure: if not on arrival, then on the departure.
                          -- Edouard Le Berquier, "Pensees des Autres"

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you
                  take Hofstadter's Law into account.

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything
                            else follows in the same way. 
                         -- Alan J. Perlis

Data, n.: Computerspeak for "information". Properly pronounced the way
          Bostonians pronounce the word for a female child.

Happy New Millenium everybodies!
--Josh

Last updated: Jan 27, 2001.