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Question   v7.7 July 2005
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v7.7 July 2005
0.  Introduction.
1.  New! http://blog.dreamhost.com/
2.  Set up your OWN DreamHost promo codes!
3.  It's coming... SARGE!
4.  DHSOTM


########################################################################
0.  Introduction.

Welcome, Happy DreamHost Customers to the first annual July DreamHost 
newsletter written *while* driving my car. Yup, you can thank the modern
miracle of EVDO (1.5Mbs internet access for my laptop via Verizon's
cell-phone network) coupled with the classic miracle of Los Angeles 
traffic for this timely installment of mirth and mayhem!

OMG, it is SO AWESOME. Google maps becomes like a free in-car GPS 
service. I can check traffic LIVE on sigalert.com (LIES!!). If I hear a 
song I like on the radio, I can download it and play it on infinite 
repeat before they've even finished telling me how NEW JackFM is! Heck, 
I can even program new hosting features for the DreamHost newsletter.. 
the only danger is that they CRASH a lot, ha ha!

I tell you, the full potential of EVDO is only barely beginning to be 
realized. Currently, the only drawback to being constantly tethered to
high speed Internet everywhere you go is the very real risk of dying in
a fiery car crash. But once we've all got cars that drive themselves, 
oh man, the amount of porn any one person can digest in a day is going 
to reach levels not seen since the renaissance! 

But until that day, I better SLAM the BRAKES on this introduction 
because I think I just missed my exit. Figuratively. And literally.


########################################################################
1.  New! http://blog.dreamhost.com/

Now that I can use internets ALL the time, I'm definitely going to need 
more creative outlets. Unfortunately for you, I've been explicitly 
forbidden by my master to turn this into a daily newsletter. BUT! All is
not lost.. because I WAS able to sneak in a little something something
to let all those juices flow:

      http://blog.dreamhost.com/

That's right! The new *official* DreamHost weblog! Another cheap attempt
at a corporation to latch onto the latest internet hype craze? Or keen
insight into the inner workings of what some describe as "The most 
exciting young company to send newsletters on the internet since June"?
YOU DECIDE!

In fact, head over there right now to take a gander at the latest post
(by ex-intern Tavis) entitled "Let's Save Our Environment"!


########################################################################
2.  Set up your OWN DreamHost promo codes!

Hopefully I can quickly get this next section out of the way before this
&*@#$^@! old lady cuts me off. BAH! Volvo drivers!! Well, maybe if I 
just ride her tail for the rest of the newsletter she'll get the picture 
THAT THIS BAD BOY IN A HONDA IS NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH WHILE I'M ON A 
DEADLINE!! Ha, perfect. Maybe a little paralysis from the waist down 
will learn her not to be messing with forces she can't comprehend.

And while I'm at it, maybe YOU can be learned a little about our new
"Create your own promo codes" feature!

Basically, we've created a way for you to "share" the $97 referral fee
you get for telling new customers about "the hottest young company with
more than three females working for them" with the actual person doing
the signing up. If you go to the "Home > Rewards" area of our web panel:

      https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=home.rew

You can create your own valid DreamHost promo code, and choose how much
of a discount it gives for each of the plans we offer! And then, anybody
who uses those promo codes will automatically get referred by YOU! 
You'll then get the $97 (anybody signing up with a promo code you make
will be set to one-time rewards instead of recurring) credit, less the
discount your promo code conferred to them!

For example, you could make a promo code that waives our set up fee of
$49.95 for monthly plans. Then, whenever anybody signs up using that 
promo code, you'd get $47.05 ($97-$49.95)! It's just like driving while
checking your email.. EVERYBODY WINS!


########################################################################
3.  It's coming... SARGE!

Just as *I* can look forward to the day when driving "manual" means 
using the steering wheel, you can look forward to the day when all our
shared hosting servers have been upgraded to the latest stable version 
of Debian Linux, "Sarge"! Lucky you, your day will most likely arrive
before mine, as even now we are in the process of upgrading our close to
3.8 BILLION shared servers to the new operating system. 

Really, nothing too noticeable should result from the change, besides
newer versions of just about all the default software packages installed
in our unix environment. It should also allow us to more easily add some
new features we've been pining for, and may result in a few minutes of 
downtime this month for everybody as their machine gets upgraded. We'll
actually be taking the opportunity to upgrade the hardware on a lot of
older servers, so hopefully this will all result in a better hosting
experience without so much of the worse hosting experience.

SQUIRREL!!


########################################################################
4.  DHSOTM

Whoa, that was close. As close as this month's Happy DreamHost Site of
the Month contest in fact! The winner of which I'd like to proudly 
announce is uh, hold on, the light turned green..


      http://www.lucuella.com/

A nice photo-graphy site by a guy named Luis from Italy. I recommend 
reloading the first page like 9 times because believe it or not, somehow
he's like ALWAYS updating that picture! Talk about obsessed.

If you think YOU could make a better site blindfolded with one arm tied
behind your back while popping a wheelie on your Harley driving down the
405 backwards,

      https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=home.dhsotm

is the place for you!


########################################################################
 Parking now,
Josh!

P.S. If you'd like to take a break from drag racing the back streets of 
Huntington Park and make sure you never read another newsletter from the
likes of me again, please just update your contact preferences at:

       https://panel.dreamhost.com/id/?tab=contact

And you can always go to http://blog.dreamhost.com/ whenever you're done 
Jeepin'.

Last updated: Aug 01, 2005.