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Question   v6.6 June 2004
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1. v6.1 January 2004
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v6.6 June 2004
0.  Introduction.
1.  Vote on suggestions!
2.  Cheaper Bandwidth for ALL!
3.  MORE Bandwidth for new moons!
4.  Incremental site statistics improvements!
5.  Link to anywhere on our site with rewards!
6.  SUMMER SALE on multi-year .la registrations and renewals!
7.  DHSOTM.

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0.  Introduction.

Hello everybody, and welcome to what I think is the way-too-manyth 
DreamHost newsletter, coming at you in JUNE, 2004! I just squeaked it in
this month it looks like, right on June 31st. Fortunately it was a leap
year!

Speaking of leaping, everybody please go watch this video right now:

      http://kempleton.com/blog/tavis/archives/001383.html

I promise it's really funny, not to mention super relevant to DreamHost
and this VERY newsletter! Also, it could not in anyway be construed as 
offensive to anybody, unless maybe you read the stuff written above it,
because I just noticed that text has a bad word in it. CRAP.


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1.  Vote on suggestions!

That was a pretty short Intro! That's probably for the best because if
you're not like me and you read the Table of Contents at the beginning,
you'll probably notice we've got more than the average number of things
this month! Which is pretty amazing since normally June is a short 
month. It's amazing what one leap day can do!

Also, that Introduction was pretty short because I started this 
newsletter really late in the day and I've got to get it out before I
take off, which is in about 30 minutes, so I'm going as fast as I can
and not proof-reading or even attempting to fully flesh out the concepts
I want to get across. A lot of times people say if you're trying to
write something fast you end up being a lot more verbose and less 
concise than you would be if you had more time to really tighten up what
you wanted to say. Like you'll always be repeating yourself and writing
really long run-on sentences that are redundant and don't really get
across any new information! Well, I'm being sure to not fall into that
trap, which is why I made that introduction so short and sweet! And now
I'm going to make the rest of the sections really short too so I can 
just whip this sucker off and take off in about uh, 29 minutes it looks
like.

So what I'm REALLY trying to say here is, PLEASE go check out the 
totally revamped new "Home > Suggestions" area, because now we've got
oodles of suggestions for improvements listed there, and you can submit
your own, and best of all VOTE (kinda like the DHSOTM) on the 
suggestions you'd most like implemented! Hey, we could even take those 
votes into consideration or something!

      https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=home.sugg

The way it works is you get 20 votes, and suggestions "cost" between 1-5
votes each, based on our own capricious reasoning, somewhat related to
how difficult/how much of a good idea we think the suggestion is!


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2.  Cheaper Bandwidth for ALL!

Man, that last section was like my last girlfriend, not as short as I'd 
hoped. CRAP. I promise I'll do better with the 28:40 I have left to 
finish this sucker. Because one thing I'd hate to do is turn this into
the longest newsletter I've ever written, especially when I'm under so
much time pressure. I remember one of the especially long newsletters I
wrote was back in March of 1999, which was a pretty long time ago! I 
think it was mostly about me talking about my birthday and how I thought
the world was going to end on January 1st, and how awesome "No Scrubs"
was. Sigh, such fond memories! Speaking of memory, you know what I've 
always thought is weird? How your memory works! Like do this: Think of
a moment from your childhood. Did you get one? Whoa, where did THAT come
from? Why did you think of that one? Now, try this: Think of another 
moment from your childhood. Now, where did THAT one come from? Some 
random access memory going on there, eh? Let me tell you mine. The first
one was when I got in trouble in kindergarten for "falling" and looking
up this girl's dress. I had to sit out the whole recess and was so 
embarassed. The second was in 2nd grade when I spent all afternoon 
counting the number of hibiscus flowers on the bush in our back yard. I
don't remember how many it turned out to be. What a waste of an 
afternoon.

Oh, right! And, this month we dropped the overage charges for excess
bandwidth on all our plans to:

      Crazy Domain Insane (L1) : $4/GB
      Sweet Dreams (L2)        : $3/GB
      Code Monster (L3)        : $2/GB
      Strictly Business (L4)   : $1/GB

CHEAP!!!


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3.  MORE Bandwidth for Dedicated Servers!

Okay, I think that last section was at least a little bit shorter than
the previous one, although like my previous girlfriend, not as short as 
I'd like. I've really got to get it down if I'm going to get out of here
in 28:32 like I hope to! So this time I'm going to get right into the 
meat of it and tell you what I mean to tell you! But hah, speaking of
meat, we've been talking with a caterer for our wedding and my fiance 
(I'd prefer not to use her real name, so I'll just call her "Tweeny") 
Tweeny decided that we should do chicken and shrimp as the two meats. 
I'm not sure about you, but I don't think shrimp qualifies as a meat at 
all! And I'm not even that sure about chicken. All I'm saying is that 
when somebody says "meat" the first thing that pops into my head from 
my childhood was the time I was three years old in Wisconsin and we had 
that herd of cows across the street from us, all wrapped in pork.

Oh, didn't I mention? I got engaged! Oh yeah, I did mention. But did I
mention how? Well, this is how! I added google.com to the DreamHost dns
 servers (um, maybe you noticed if for some reason you were using lynx to
go to Google directly from our servers back around May 16th) and set up
a fake Google website! Then I changed the picture at the top and changed
our home dns servers to be DreamHost's (instead of Earthlink's DSL like
they normally are). So if you went to www.google.com from our house, you
got the fake version I'd set up on our servers! Mwah hwah hwah hwah!
Well, "Tweeny" goes to Google a lot, so Saturday night I switched it 
over and next thing you knew, Sunday morning she was all "How much did
you have to pay Google?!"... check it out, I archived it at:

      http://www.groo.com/google.com/

Aren't I romantic? And a huge nerd? Worse than those guys in line for
Star Wars that Triumph the Insult Dog interviewed? Probably.

And, New Moons now come with 500GB of transfer per month! Half Moons 
come with 640GB and Blue Moons come with 1120GB! Wooooah.

      http://www.dreamhost.com/dedicated/servers.html


########################################################################
4.  Incremental site statistics improvements!

As I was saying, I've only got like 27:59 left before I gotta git, so 
I'm going to move right along! This is taking a lot longer than I hoped,
and I hope I'm not boring anybody or you're missing out on the important
information I've been including in each section about important 
DreamHost policy changes, feature additions, and service improvements!
Because that is the real purpose of this newsletter. It's not some sort
of ego-maniacal electronic soap box for a whacko to just drone on and on
about his life and whatever random CRAP pops into his head in the last
few minutes of a lazy Thursday on the last day of a lazy June in the 
last year of a lazy universe. Sorry, I forgot, that was 1999. A lot of 
stuff has been going on these last weeks.. like we've been trying to 
sell my condo, FSBO (which stands for "For Sale By O", and I think the 
"O" means "Orbitron", which is maybe some sort of robot? From the 
future? Like 2017 about?). We haven't gotten that much interest really,
but I guess maybe we shouldn't be asking $349,000 for 632 square feet. 
Of course, you think the wall-to-wall pentium chip carpeting would be 
worth SOMETHING. But, tastes change. What was cool in 1999 is not 
necessarily cool today.

Did you know that we recently made some changes to our website 
statistics stuff and didn't even make an announcement about it? Because 
we were afraid it might break some stuff! But it didn't it looks like! 
So now we're willing to tell you about it. Check, check it... now our 
site stats have a lot more sensible choices for default reports (like 
no more "weekly report" on the daily page!) and a clearer way to 
specify how many entries you'd like to show (just put in a number, or 
check the box if you want to see them ALL) for each report. We may 
even improve things a bit more if we get some super suggestions, but 
for now check it out at the "Status > Statistics" area ASAP!

       https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=status.stats


########################################################################
5.  Link to anywhere on our site with rewards!

Okay, this is REALLY taking too long and I got to go in 27 minutes! So 
I'm really going to cut down this one and just hop right to it, like the
energizer bunny! Who just keeps going and going and going and going and
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going and going and going and going and going and going and going and 
going!

So, maybe you've been linking to us a bit more now that our Rewards
program is so generous (you can now get $65 a referral!):

     http://www.dreamhost.com/rewards.html

And maybe the fact that we've made some new banners up for you to use
has helped too:

     http://www.dreamhost.com/rewardsicons.html

BUT! Did you know you can now link to ANYWHERE on our site, not just
the main page, and still get all the same referral credit for people you
send over? I bet not, since we never announced it before! Here's how:

     http://www.dreamhost.com/rewards.cgi?josh/panel/features.html

will take you to:

     http://www.dreamhost.com/panel/features.html

and will add a cookie to their browser saying that "josh" is the stud
who referred them! EASY AS CRAP!


########################################################################
6.  SUMMER SALE on multi-year .la registrations and renewals!

Ha ha! Fortunately for me, our friends at dotLA provided me with some
handy-dandy marketing stuff I can just paste in for this section! Oh yeah,
here it comes:

"
LA Names Corp - July Promotion

Summer Sale - save up to 45% off .la domain names!
Click here to register now!
 
Announcing - release of Los Angeles and Orange County district names 
from $200 per year. Previously these names were unavailable for purchase 
- buy such names as: brentwood.la, southbay.la, pasadena.la, burbank.la, 
etc. Click here to register! 
"

And if those "Click here to register"s didn't work, that's because I 
didn't make them links! Here's where you REALLY need to go:

     https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=domain.registration


########################################################################
7.  DHSOTM.

This month's DreamHost Site of the Month award goes to Amy and PJ, whose
site is named, appropriately:

      http://www.amyandpj.com/

How cute! This has got to be the first time a wedding site has ever won
the DHSOTM! And with good reason! Er, what I mean is ... theirs is good
and deserves to win! Yeah! And um, Amy and PJ, I apologize if you now 
have to make room for another 30,000 or so at the reception. 30,000 huge
nerds.

      https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=home.dhsotm

Is where to go if you'd like 30,000 huge nerds to come to YOUR wedding!


########################################################################

Done with 26 minutes to go,
Josh!

P.S. Maybe you read this WHOLE newsletter all the way through and 
thought it was really awesome. Maybe after that first video you skipped 
right to the end to look for some unsubscribe info. If so, you're in
luck! Because you can unsubscribe via your contact preferences at:

       https://panel.dreamhost.com/id/?tab=contact

at anytime, day or night, night or day, weekday or weekend, June or 
July, 1999 or 2004, funny or not! CRAP.

Last updated: Jul 02, 2004.

User Post (2004-07-26 13:37:31 by mabi)
lol great idea with the DNS trick!! I gotta set up BIND on a linux box at home and pull something like that on my wife!
User Post (2004-07-11 22:03:31 by bronxred)
Very romantik, Josh. All the best!!! Oh yeah...and all the best for, uh, "Tweeny" too...hope she thought that "nickname" (ugh) was romantik. Hehe.